She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
