My room smells like vodka and shame
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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