Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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