they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
