GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
