dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Blow job season was short but glorious.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
