she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize