Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
