i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
