just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
handjob tips. give me some.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
