were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
