My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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