Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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