Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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