i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
50% drunk capacity currently
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
