no, he came in my armpit
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
