White coat. Heels.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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