also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
