So drunk its hurt
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
