I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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