I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
that may or may not have been my penis.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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