Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
