We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
