some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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