thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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