Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
