All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
