Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize