and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
