Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
