But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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