I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
