i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
