from now on my penis is your penis
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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