I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
In America we eat man semen.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
