You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
