Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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