I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
