Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
