I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
