what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
