Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
