So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
