she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
