I need help removing her.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
