they need to just BURY HIM!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
