I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
