Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
