I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize