Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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