Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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