Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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