i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
