Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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