I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
