She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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