The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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