Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
