I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
