got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
