We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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