do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
