It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
