We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
