I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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