I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
