Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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