i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
