If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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