I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
