on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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