i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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