dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
