I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
