Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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