I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
