Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
