Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
