We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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