I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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