True but thats because hes a fetus.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
In America we eat man semen.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
