you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
