that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize