Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
even my farts smell like vagina
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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