I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize