CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Im part way to drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
